the happyness is back! i went bra shopping today, with the best friend.
im happy with my boyfriend :) he says sweet things.
he probably wouldnt hurt a fly.
he laughs
he smiles
he is cheerful
i am happy to be around him.
i miss him when hes not around. in a healthy way.
not like you.
i obsessed over you for two years.
nothing was good enough without your stamp of approval.
when we were not speaking the sight of you was
a punch in the gut/losingmybreath/heartbreakalloveragain.
i dont have to see you anymore
i dont have to feel those nasty feelings.
i am learning to forget, you are no longer on my mind 24/7.
i am happy without you (HAPPY,DAMNIT)
but the truth is...
your still the last thing on my mind as i drift to sleep.
i still wakeup screaming, crying, missing you
... im still in love with you.
the other truth?
i think ive become strong enough to deal with it.
i can bury you deep inside.
i can think about you without punishing myself for losing you.
and i no longer have to scare the shit out of my friends. they dont notice the pain anymore.
so HAH! take that.
i am strong, i am beautiful, and you CANNOT. RUIN. MY. LIFE
I>YOU.
